You're not fat...you're pregnant...

But I'm just feeling fat here at 20 weeks and I can't help but think of the work ahead to try to get back to "normal" after all this is over. It may be vain, but in the end, you really are ztuck with a different body than you started with and some make the adjustment better than others...I'm the exception...I continue to look pregnant years after teh child is delivered...excercise and diet just result in looking slightly less pregnant. It's a drag.

On a higher note, our abay boy is doing exceptionally well. He has a lovely profile on ultrasound...that's right we are having a little boy ;). He weighed 12 ounces last week, so he's still a wee one. He looks beautfully formed. A wee complication this time around...teh placenta is still partially covering the cervix, which may mean difficulties in delivering at home again- which makes me nervous as hell...I hate hospitals and I really don't want to have to deliver in one. Worse than that I really don't want the epidural...scares the lights out of me. I'll find out more at my next ultrasound at 31 weeks.

So far another good pregnancy...weight gain aside...so far no hives or restless legs like before...so here's hoping it keeps up.

Almost 16 weeks!

So this pregnancy seems to be going well. I have pretty good energy, no swelling (so far), but I am definaltey showing quickly. One woman thought I was 5 months! She must have been skinny pregnant LOL.

I go for my second IPS bloodtest this week. I just want the results to come back positive so that I can exhale. Ever since I experienced that episode of bleeding I have been a little worried.

I should know in a few weeks if it is a boy or a girl, but I have pretty much decided that either way I will name the little Monkey Evan. Evan James Alexander if it is a boy or Evan Alexandra Rose or Evan Elizabeth Rose if it is a girl. Stil working on it...but I've got some time...

I have harldy told anyone (who wouldn't already notice), I guess you just don't have the same urge to tell everyone the way you do the first time.

I will likely take mat leave in the middle of April - the baby is due May 10th - so that should give me a good month to get ready for the chaos that ensures with #2 ;).

Kaia has been very dear. She sings twinkle twinkle little star to my belly and talks to it really sweetly...I can't wait to see the two of them together. I like the sound of Kaia and Evan ...simple but strong names...

I think it might be a boy...but time will tell...

8 Weeks viable

So the 7 week ultrasound showed a little heart beating persisitently. What a reflief. We are at teh 8 week mark and will have a 13 week ultrasound yet to come as part of the IPS screening.

Had a great meeting with the Midwife Agnes yesterday. I guess here we go for another interesting adventure.

The Trouble with Number 2

Two weeks ago, I found myself looking over a positive pregnancy test. The month before, I had had a miscarriage before I even knew I was pregnant. As conflicted as I have been about having another child and adding another layer of complexity in our family, I was happy and excited.

Two nights ago, I told my husband that we were expecting our second child. That night, I started to bleed and I was certain that I had miscarried again. By the morning the bleeding has stopped and has not resumed. This left me wondering...what is going on?

Today, I will have an ultrasound to see if there is any trace of a heart beat. When I close my eyes and try to picture what the moment will be like...the silent moment the technican moves over my belly and we see nothing...no movement..silence...and what I was a afraid to know is true. Then there is the moment where I lie back and as I watch the ultrsound on the screen, I see that it moves in to see the miracle of a tiny beating heart that is determined to be there and I feel relief and calm and there are tears of happiness. One of these two moments will play out today.