The Trouble with Number 2

Two weeks ago, I found myself looking over a positive pregnancy test. The month before, I had had a miscarriage before I even knew I was pregnant. As conflicted as I have been about having another child and adding another layer of complexity in our family, I was happy and excited.

Two nights ago, I told my husband that we were expecting our second child. That night, I started to bleed and I was certain that I had miscarried again. By the morning the bleeding has stopped and has not resumed. This left me wondering...what is going on?

Today, I will have an ultrasound to see if there is any trace of a heart beat. When I close my eyes and try to picture what the moment will be like...the silent moment the technican moves over my belly and we see nothing...no movement..silence...and what I was a afraid to know is true. Then there is the moment where I lie back and as I watch the ultrsound on the screen, I see that it moves in to see the miracle of a tiny beating heart that is determined to be there and I feel relief and calm and there are tears of happiness. One of these two moments will play out today.