One Way or Another - It's Gotta Come out!

I once had a total meltdown in the dentist chair when I was getting a cavity filled. I just freaked and screamed and knew the only way out was to to be impossible. I remember the dentist saying, quite sternly, "One way or another, this is getting done!". I have never had such a sense of powerlessness and dispair of not having any control over what was being done to my body.

There is a similar feeling when I consider, on the odd day that I am not in complete denial, that whether I am on board or not this baby is coming out someway. As my belly gets bigger, the thought of it gets harder and harder to imagine. How will it fit?I mean I know the proportional ratio of baby head to vagina...I might not have passed calculus, but let's face it this is an easy one. How do you just give yourself over to something so overwhelming?

Having no idea how you will react and how everyone around you will react really makes planning or setting expectations a real tricky one. One thing that is for sure is that I am planning on having a doula there - at least someone will be 100% sure of what is happening and how to maek things somewhat better. In spite of all my angst, I am hoping for a natural birth sans epidural. I would have thought that I lost my mind, or that aliens would have taken over my brain if I heard myself say tha a few months ago... but, I just want to have as few problems as possible. But, hey if I need I need it...and we'll take it from there.

Birth Plan

It is kind of a misnomer to have a birth plan. How do you plan for the unknown? I don't think that you can even if you want to. I think the birthplan may be just a way to make you feel like you can control the uncontrollable and possibly, I will look upon the idyllic plan and laugh once I have actually been though the experience. But, to at least give myself an idea of what the unexpected may bring...here is my draft birthplan:

General Requests

No students/interns (other than midwifery students) present during labour and delivery.Low lighting in the room

No labour, overdue and plans regarding induction
I wish to go into labour spontaneously. If I go overdue I would like to be at least 14 days after my due date before being induced (unless there are problems). I would prefer Prostin gel for induction and to labour in the birth centre after this.

Prelabour and interventions
Encourage as much rest as possible

Early 1st phase and interventions
create a safe, supportive environment (candles, music, aromatherapy, movies, tea.)

Active 1st phase and interventions
Contact midwives Shannon and Agnes
Use Thermaphore for moist heat pain relief Low back/abdomen)
Remind me to use the bathroom and take fluids
Massage
Ice/cold packs for pain relief
Encourage me to change positions every 15 minutes or so.

Transition and 2nd Stage and interventions
The amniotic sac will not be artificially ruptured, unless medically necessary.
Perineum guarding with warm compress to prevent tearing
Suggest touching the baby’s head when crowning to get me through the last pushes
To allow the umbilical cord to finish pulsing before it is cut, unless it must be cut to complete the birth of the baby.

3rd Stage and interventions
To breast feed as soon as possible
Delivery of the placenta is not to be rushed, but is to proceed at its own pace. The use of oxytocic drugs and manual removal of the placenta is to be reserved for true medical emergencies

Pain relief/comfort options

Please do not offer an epidural – I will ask if I need it.
Thermaphore – moist heat
Hot Shower with partner for support
Warm Bath
Massage
Breathing
Birthing ball


What if a Caesarean is needed or planned for?
Would like baby to have skin to skin contact after removal if possible and to begin breastfeeding as soon as possible. Do not want baby to be bottle fed if possible.

Going home
Would like to take the first couple of days to get acquainted with baby before taking visitors.


Your baby at the birth and plan if needing intensive care or transfer


Feeding and care in the postnatal period

Preparing for Birth

How does someone prepare for birth? Is it as simple as doing your kegels and leading an active pregnancy? Or, like a marathon, do you have to prepare mentally..."it's all mental". I am not a mentally strong person - I don't "power" through the tough spots...I rest. When it hurts...I stop. If I am too tired... I sleep. How will a gal like me make it through one of the toughest things I can imagine? YOu can't stop it, you can't rest and sleep...well when it's over you can sleep -but not too much.

I have been slowly building the "birthing team", which, to this point, includes my husband and my best friend. While they cannot help do it for me - maybe they will be able to get me through it. I am also considering bringing a doula into the picture - I need to feel that someone in the room knows what's happening and can know what needs to be done to make it better. I am really not sure how hubby will cope in crisis - and finding out at the last minute...isn't a bargain I am willing to wager.

I am practicing meditation with an ocean waves CD. Hoping the perpetual sound wll help me move through the pain and focus outside myself when the time comes. I just keep thinking..this is going to be excrutiating. I am glad that I know that it is a little girl. I will focus on her... bringing her into the world.

God it's going to be like a car accident...thinking of the the word vagina, 10 inches dilation, tearing and swelling...well doesn't paint an encouraging picture. And it is a mystery...you never hear anybody really talk about how they were literally blown apart by the birthing experience... although some have used the word "hell" to describe it.

So I am preparing for a mystery...and I guess I won't know till I get there.