Making contact

It has been a few weeks now that our little in utero girl has been poking away and letting us know she really is there and that mommy is not just gaining weight for kicks. She loves Alan's voice. When he talks to her in the belly she always moves and gives us her best pokes. This is the extent to which we have been making contact with eachother, in spite of the fact that she and I are a part of eachother right now.

At the Dinner Dance this winter, a older lady in her eighties, a psychiatrist, was telling me that it is terribly important to get into a deep mediative state and to make contact with the baby. by being able to make contact with her and connect to her I will be able to keep her calm during birth and get us both through it. What if I cannot make contact with her enough to make her feel safe and calm? Then it will be like we will both be getting washed away in this very frightening moment. It is scary to anticipate. Scary to not know how it will be for me and her. Alan will be there waiting to hold both of us - that thought brings great comfort. It will be one of the most amazing things that we will do together. It will be a moment hard to top on the list of life experiences.

Until that time, I will be doing my best to sing to her, talk to her and touch her while she shares a space with me.