Week 9

So here we are at week 9.

I have experienced my first food aversion (to bacon and sausage) and I have been expereincing a feeling of breathlessness (it feels like you are gasping for air). Sometimes it feels like yo are being drowned by your own body. I have learned recently that this is a normal sensation that is caused by hormones...still more things that we are never told.

It seems that this is a journey of mystery in many way for each woman. While some things are consistent...everyone expereinces this so very differently. Which leaves me with a scary feeling of not really having anyone able to tell me what I can REALLY expect when I am expecting.

My greatest fear so far is that I will dissappear. I will fade inot the background of this new life. I don't know if this is selfish, or if I am speculating on things I do not understand. I have said it before, it many ways I am not done being me yet. I still need to BECOME something - not just a mother...and not only a mother.